| wow i havent signed in this thing let alone write it in ,in forever! |
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| 02:32pm 12/03/2007 |
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well lets see life is a hell of alot better , getting things done my companies going great im going great im pretty happy no adays sept for the occasional downer but those are unusual um im starting another company called white rabbit im pretty stoked for that wit my bud Drock and matt shiters
all About conspiracies, urban legends, hoaxs and just straight up myths its the truth about the world that surrounds u and the things u dont know and things u should know it will open ur mind to the truths of this world we inhabit. Mind Alterations is wat White rabbit is about how far down the rabbit hole will you be willing to go... ya its gonna be rad we are gonna have secret riddles/clues in every tee design so people will have to figure out the riddles and they will all connect to reveal secrets that are very hush hush lol and we are gonna have a tee thats just a GIANT red pill and its gonna say the truth are u ready? ahha im super stoked for it doing all the preliminary design and set up like the websites gonna be like a old warehouse office type thing and the way u look though the site is wit a flash light and everything and be opened or moved so its like ur rummigin like ull be able to open the file cabinets adn search and stuff n find secret info and secret parts of the site its gonna be very rad and conspiracy like n eventually we are thinking of having a secret place in our actual store for those who figure out all the riddles and wat not be like a door that u open n theres just like bricks and u have to push the bricks in a certain order to open it up somehting like that so ya its gonna be rad mmmmwatelse is new mmm no gurls for me for a while ahahh such a uneessary difficult addition to my life dont get me wrong i love gurls but jesus all the ones i meet are either mentally unstable or just plain old crazy and im not down wit that delt wit enough of that in my lifetime so ya not looking for anything but i mean im not against it i just really give up on the hole like anicipatin anything u know its a let down but im cool wit that ull notice that i never use any punctuation or capitilization or correct spelling but u know wat life short im not gonna waste my time wit things like that ... lol |
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| love u always |
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| 04:12pm 12/11/2006 |
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Today is better i feel better life is ok pretty much cant do anythign but get better and thats relieving i still feel sad but its it a different way like i just hope people are happy and i will always always love that specific indidivual with ever piece of me she was a great wonderful amazing thing in my life she taught me many many things taht i will keep wit me forever ive learned to be patient wit people ive learned to love like ive never loved before ive learned that people always need eacother ive learned that people sometimes have to go there seperate ways sometimes even though its painful its for the best and im just glad her and i are on good terms and will always love eachoher always no matter wat i spent a year and half with u and it was the best year n half of my life so far and i want to tahnk you for being there for me wen i needed u and loving me like u did im a different person because of it im stronger now beacuase of u and u deserve the best i just hope wen u start consider a relationship u really pick a aweosme guy cause i would be sad if u didnt cuase u deserve the absolute best always ur beautiful in every way possible and i will always think ur gorgeous till the day i die i really hope we can become good friends someday wenever that may be cause i would like to have u in my life always no matter how it is i would like u to be in it cause ur a beaitful person and that is seldom in this world to find somebody wit a true heart and tru feelings and isnt selfish i know u gave alot becuase of me and i just wanted to tel u that it was very appreciated i love u always have a beautiful life i hope all your dreams come true good bye |
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| 05:33pm 09/11/2006 |
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a kid i used to baby shit shot himself in the head and lived for 3 hours and then died thats crazy makes your hairs stand on end wonder wat he was thinking very sad kid must of been troubled |
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| 12:36am 09/11/2006 |
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have had a crazy nauseous headache all day really wierd feel like i want to barf hope it goes away life sucks still im alone. i dont know wats worst the fact that im alone or the fact that i didnt choose to be alone i dont know maybe i ate to many cheetos that could be it perhaps not took me all day to write this press release and i still think its retarded but watever tomorow looks better gonna have some dinner wit a friend hopefully they will cheer me up off to sleep now and just worry for an hour or so in my bed |
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| 10:36pm 07/11/2006 |
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I love you katie very much and i miss u and hope ur doing ok i think about u all the time still |
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| 01:46am 07/11/2006 |
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getting better life seems hopeful still sad though sucks not being wit the person u love no matter wat the circumstances tryin to think bout them less but seems to just make it more acually trying to get into better shape feels nice when ur muscles hurt somewat of an accomplishment focusing alot more on my company/carreer building a base for a designing firm have lots of idea and i plan to act on them gotta start making more friends i guess kinda being forced to but watever might as well |
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| 01:22am 04/11/2006 |
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Saw borat pretty intense much more funny then i expected
i miss katie alot... and its not going away |
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| 05:01pm 02/11/2006 |
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2nd day still feel shitty ive come to the conclusion that im just gonna have to deal wit it I love katie more then ever and it totally sucks lol cuase i cant even talk to her. I just trying to preoccupy myself wit stuff only works for a lil i dont know really how long i can handel this wit out just giving up i miss her alot and it sucks cause theres absolutley nothing i can do sept wait n thats not very fair i dont even know if she cares anymore she seems better wit out me n i mean thats wat ive always wanted is for her to be happy it just sucks that i have to like be in agony for it im outrageously tempted to just call her or drive to her house and knock on her door but i cant i have to do this fuly cause it be stupid just to do this half way and still have problems but i just want her to know that im always here for her and im not going to attempt to call her see her or anyhting she has to do that its on her
Depressed i am... |
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| 12:53am 02/11/2006 |
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today bad day not good very hard feel very shitty still and i miss her alot it hurts more then i ever thought i just want her back and everything to be better but that cant happen cause she needs to be alone it just sucks cause i have to sufffer alot because of it i dont know wat im gonna do like wat can i do sept give her wat she wants every 5 secs of the day she runs through my mind and feel really crappy my eyes are still burning they burn all day i miss sita as well my lil kitty i dont know how long i can deal wit this all hopefully it gets easier or ill go insane im already insane wat am i talking about life sucks totally blows somebody fuckin love me god DAMN |
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| 05:13pm 01/11/2006 |
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i wanted to see her last night more then anything in the world but like i said i cant half ass this if im gonna feel like absolute shit i have to feel like the most absolute shit i can feel |
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| feeling like shit |
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| 05:01pm 01/11/2006 |
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mood:  pessimistic music: wen the bodies hit the floor only humor i have
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yesterday one of the worst days of my life i think me and my gf of a year and 3 months arent together anymore i feel soo horrible my body hurts my head hurts constantly i tremble alot i love this girl more then anything in the entire world and shes not my gf anymore worst feeling in the world is waking up in the middle of the night thinking u had a nightmare but then realizing that it was real and it was ur life i feel depressed life isnt very good i thought love prevails over all u know i think im sorely mistaken i woke up today and the first thought in my head was like katies not here for me anymore like thats a super blow to myself if i even just like think of her for asplit second i feel an overwhelming feeling of discomfort and like pure agony like to think that her and i might not every be together is the most absolutely painful thought ive ever came across like my heart feels like its serisuly just going to explode all over the place the only thing that makes it sorta go away is like doing pushups and ive done 362 since ive woken up like i kinda feel like ive failed u know cause like i tried so hard to make things better and it just seemed like nothing id do would bmake it better its like a black whole that sucks everythign from u and doesnt give nything back i dont like it and i hate feeling like this like theres a a fuckin gray cloud that hovers over me making sure i feel like shit i dont want to do anything i just want to lay and bed and wake up happy wishful thinking i know for the first time in my life im a pessimist and i dont really care anymore love sucks and it hurts and its mean and its not ever fair love = inevitable shitty feelings no doubt its wonderful wen its good but wen its bad its the most horrid feelings a person can ever encounter... |
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| Well things are better now! |
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| 11:51am 13/06/2006 |
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I went over to her house and we made up and all is well now i mean there are still issues but her n i are workin them out which is great cause i couldnt stand the thought wit out her i love her way to much! hopefully ill see her today and we will go to Gpsyland! an get some sweet jackets lol |
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| I feel so shitty and im soo worried |
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| 01:23pm 10/07/2003 |
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The gurl that im inlove wit like wont answer my phone calls or my text or anything its driving me nuts i love this gurl like no one else loves anybody in the entire world im worrying about her alot because shes in a bad spot right now and me being a totally idiot didnt realize this till it was too late all i want to say is im srry and im here for her this gurl means everything to me she my one and only i dont know wat id do wit out her she the gurl i wake up thinking about shes the gurl that i fall asleep wishing she was there by my side i love this gurl and i know she loves me wit all of her heart as i do the same she the perfect gurl shes beautiful and smart and soo loving its amazing she always there for me and im such a dumbass and didnt see that i needed to be here for her now but i am im trying soo hard i love her and i just wish she would let me be there for her shes all i have in this world and i wouldnt want to mess that up for anything i cant imagine wat my life would be like wit out her soo lonely and sad and hurt i need this gurl more then anyhing shes my hope shes my love shes my everything im seriusly going insane cause she wont talk to me i hope shes just sleepin in alot or somehting but i hope she sees the 60 missed calls on her phone cause i love her and i hope she calls me back cause she means the absolute world to me. |
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| mmmm |
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| 04:01pm 09/07/2003 |
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i think im going insane most likley i feel not good |
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| mooo |
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| 02:15pm 09/07/2003 |
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I feel very restless i need to do something like go to the beach that would be good for me or something cause im really disliking the desert right now i dont enjoy my body melting wen i go outside |
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myninjastars's journal
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